Watching The Empire Strikes Back
by mythical-dragon48
Summary: Sequel to Watching A New Hope. When Han finds a mysterious holofilm titled "The Empire Strikes Back", he, Luke, Leia, Chewie, Lando, Wes, Wedge and Hobbie go watch it...
1. Prologue

**Hey all! Dun dun DUN! DRUMROLL! Here is the prologue of... Watching the Empire Strikes Back!**

**All you AMAZING people who reviewed Watching ANH inspired me to get this up faster :) Thanks!**

**The first part of the movie will be up in the next couple of days :) Hope you enjoy this!**

**PLEASE review! Only way I know people like this :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Sob.**

* * *

><p>Han Solo left Leia's quarters and strode purposefully towards his ship. Once again, there was something wrong with the hyperdrive, and he and Chewie were probably going to be spending the whole day sorting it out. Hopefully, no one would come looking for him to say that he was needed to go be a general. <em>Well, if they do, they can just stuff themselves, unless the imps invade.<em>

What he was really thinking about, though, was the weird holofilm that the kid had found yesterday. It had somehow documented most of his, Leia and Luke's life from the time that Leia was captured by Vader until the medal ceremony on Yavin. What. The. Hell. None of them had any idea how whoever had made the holo had recorded it – hell, he would have noticed if there was a random holo cameraman running around on his ship! Han had actually quite enjoyed seeing all the scenes that he hadn't been around for, and it was fun to see the kid that embarrassed, but even he had to admit that it was a bit awkward with other people watching. Like Leia, during the 'A princess and a guy like me?" conversation.

He also wandered why it had stopped there, and found himself almost hoping that there was more – and then hoping that there wasn't 'cause if there was, they would probably get around to his relationship with Leia… and _that _would be really awkward.

He reached the _Falcon_ and palmed open the ramp. There was no movement on the ship, telling him that Chewie was probably still asleep. _Damn lazy Wookie._ Just as he was opening his mouth to yell at his friend, his foot slipped on something, and he nearly fell over.

Once he had regained his balance, he looked down at the object lying on the floor. It was an innocent – looking holofilm, and on the cover…

_Damn._

* * *

><p>Han barged into Chewie's cabin and began to yell at him. The Wookie was awake within seconds. "What!"<p>

Han shoved the holofilm in his face. "Have you seen this?"

Chewie took it. The holo looked very familiar, but slightly different. On the front were the words "Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back". In the background was a huge picture of Darth Vader, while in the foreground was Luke, Leia, Lando, and Han pointing a blaster at something. There was also some random green creature with very long ears and several AT – AT walkers.

He exchanged glances with Han. "Well, looks like we are going to be sharing some more of our life stories." The ex - smuggler told him. "Come on, let's go find the kid and Leia."

* * *

><p>Leia sat in a meeting with Mon Mothma, General Rieekan and several others when Han suddenly burst in. She broke off what she was saying as everyone turned to look at the ex – smuggler, most in annoyance. She frowned, and opened her mouth to ask what he was doing there, but he beat her to it.<p>

"Hey, your highness, look what I found." He tossed her a holofilm. Her mouth fell open slightly.

"Oh my god." She looked back up at him. "Where was it?"

"The _Falcon._ I think we're supposed to go watch it again."

Leia nodded. "Have you told the others yet?"

"Chewie went off to find Lando. No idea where the kid is. Or the Rogues."

"Excuse me, but what –" Mon Mothma broke in but Leia, having opened the holo, cut her off. She was blushing.

"Um, Han, do we have to have the Rogues here for this?"

"Why not?"

"You haven't seen the inside, have you?"

She came around the table and showed him the picture of them kissing that was on the inside. He winced.

"No I don't think we should let them see –"

"Hey guys! Chewie told us you found another one!" Leia and Han turned. To her horror, Chewie stood there with Lando, Luke and – unfortunately – Wes, Wedge and Hobbie. She quickly closed the holo.

"Uh, yeah. It was on the _Falcon_. I have a feeling we're supposed to watch it."

Lando took the holofilm and began examining it with the others. "Hey, I'm on here this time!"

"Why aren't we?" The three Rogues whined.

"But I'm on the front!" Luke sounded excited. It faded slightly when he saw who else was. "Oh… So is Vader."

"Who's the ugly green creature?" Wes asked. Luke smiled.

"You'll see."

"CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!" Mon Mothma yelled at the group. Leia looked at her, having completely forgotten that she was there.

"Oh… Sorry, Mon. I need to go… Watch this… Sorry… Excuse me."

She led the group out of the council chamber and closed the door on the council's shocked faces.

"I hope that wasn't anything important." Luke said, sounding a bit worried. Leia shrugged.

"Not really." She told him.

Wes was practically bouncing up and down. "Come on! I want to watch it!"

"Ok, Ok, calm down." Leia told him. "We'll go to my quarters. They're closest."

She led the group down the hall, the others chatting excitedly.

"Hey, I'm going to be in this one!" Lando kept repeating.

"Lando, old friend, you do realize that if you're going to be in this one we are going to be on Cloud City?" Han suddenly pointed out. Leia stopped suddenly, Luke careening straight into her back. She turned.

"Luke… If they are showing Cloud City… Didn't Vader…" He realized what saying and turned slightly pale.

"I guess… We'll just deal with that if it happens." He brightened for a moment. "But they wouldn't have been able to record it!"

"Well, how did they get you and Han's conversation?" She asked. He winced. She looked at Han then. "Carbonite."

He winced. "And… You saw the inside of the holo."

She nodded. "This is going to be interesting, to say the least."

Ignoring the questions of the Rogues, she continued walking. Palming open her door, she slid the holofilm into the holo player as the others claimed their seats from the day before.


	2. You Could Use a Good Kiss!

**Sorry this took so long! I've been really busy!**

**Thanks HEAPS for the reviews! U rock!**

**PLEASE Review! It's the only way I really know that you are enjoying this.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

* * *

><p>As in the previous holo, it began with yellow and blue writing scrolling down the screen.<p>

"A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…"

"Where are these people? And why are they from the future?" Hobbie asked. As he spoke, trumpets started to play as the words "Star Wars: Episode V: Empire Strikes Back" Came into view.

"Wait, what?" Luke asked. "We've only seen one."

"It is a dark time for the Rebellion." It began.

"When isn't it?" Han muttered.

"Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial Troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy."

"Well, that really clears up the 'when is this' question" Leia said sarcastically.

"Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters, led by Luke Skywalker, have established a new secret base on the remote ice world of Hoth."

"Since when have you been the leader?" Wedge asked.

"At least we know where we are now." Wes replied.

"The evil lord Darth Vader, obsessed with finding young Skywalker, has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of space…"

"Luke I blame everything on you." Wes commented. Luke glared.

As the writing disappeared, an Imperial ship came into view. Dozens of probes were being launched from it. Suddenly, a very familiar planet came into view as a probe sped towards the surface.

"Hoth." Everyone, except for Lando, chorused. There was a huge explosion as it crashed into the surface.

"Oh no! I don't like this bit." Luke whined.

"You say that a lot, kid." Han remarked. Coming out of the ground, the probe began to float across the surface.

The scene changed to a large creature running oddly across the snow.

"What's that?" Lando asked, curious.

"Tauntaun." Everyone else chorused again.

"Hated them." Han muttered.

"We couldn't get the speeders to adapt, so we had to use these." Luke explained. The holo zoomed in on the tauntaun, and it became clear that someone was riding it. Covered in snow gear, it was not immediately clear whom. Then, the man pulled of his goggles, revealing –

"Hey! It's me!" Luke yelled, as he watched himself watching the probe crash into the surface. "Wish I'd known it was a probe then." He muttered.

Holo Luke held up a pair of binoculars, scanning the sky. Finishing, he brushed off his sleeve to reveal a commlink.

"Echo Three to Echo Seven."

"Yes! First line." Luke screamed.

"Who's –" Lando started to ask, but was cut off.

"Han, old buddy, do you read me?"

"Loud and clear, kid. What's up?"

"Well, I finished my circle. I don't pick up any life readings."

"Why am I not surprised?" Leia asked.

"Well, there isn't enough life on this ice cube to fill a space cruiser." Han replied.

"More like an x – wing." Wedge grumbled.

"Sensors are placed. I'm going back." He continued.

"And by the way, it's not a cube." Lando grinned.

"Shut up."

"Right, I'll see you shortly." Luke told him. "There's a meteorite that hit the ground near here. I wanna go check it out."

"Not smart." Wes told him.

All of a sudden, Luke's tauntaun started going crazy. Luke desperately tried to calm it down.

"What's got it so excited?" Lando asked.

Holo Luke turned around – just in time to see a huge, furry white creature towering over him. "That's a wampa." Luke supplied with a wince.

"Oh, crap." Wes remarked, just as the wampa came down on Luke, throwing him too the ground, unconscious. Killing the tauntaun, it began to drag them across the snow.

"Well, that went well." Leia told him.

The entrance to the Rebel base came into view. Wes grinned. "Don't you just really miss that place?"

Han came riding in on his tauntaun. Inside, the hanger was dark. The rebels were clad in layer upon layer of snow gear.

"No, I really don't." Hobbie replied. Holo Han dismounted, walking across the base towards the _Falcon._ Chewie sat on top of it, fiddling with some wires.

"It's me!" Chewie growled.

"You had to be fiddling with that, you damn furball." Han muttered.

"Chewie! Chewie!" Holo Han yelled.

"Force, cub, I'm listening!" Chewie growled back, waving his tools.

"All right! Don't loose your temper!" Han replied. "I'll come right back and give you a hand!"

"Where are you going?" Wedge asked.

Han walked into High Command. Leia looked around from her terminal at him, but didn't say anything. After a pause, Han went over to General Rieekan.

"No sign of life out there, General." He told him. "Sensors are in place, you'll know if anything comes around." Behind him, Leia had turned around again and was watching him.

"Gods, I can't believe it took you two so long." Wes grumbled.

"If I had known you were watching me all the time…" Han drawled. Leia blushed and kicked him.

"Commander Skywalker reported in yet?" Rieekan asked.

"No." Han replied. "He's checkin' out a meteorite that hit near there."

"If only." Luke said.

"With all the meteorites in this system, it's gonna be difficult to spot approaching ships." The general commented grimly, standing up.

"General." Han said abruptly. "I gotta leave. I can't stay anymore."

Behind him, Leia stiffened.

"Well, that really worked." Han said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Rieekan replied.

"There's a price on my head. If I don't pay off Jabba the Hutt, I'm a dead man." Han told him.

"You have a point." Lando winced. "I'm surprised you weren't already."

"A death mark's not an easy thing to live with." Rieekan said, shaking Han's hand. "You're a good fighter, Solo. I hate to loose you."

"You're one of the best!" Luke grumbled. "I still can't believe you wanted to leave!"

"Thank you, General." Han replied, turning towards Leia, who looked around.

"You're gonna kiss him, aren't you!" Wes asked gleefully.

"Not exactly…" Leia replied dryly.

Holo Han paused net to her. "Well, your highness, I guess this is it."

Leia just nodded. "That's right."

"Come on, Leia!" Chewie roared. "You're in love with him!" Lando laughed.

Holo Han looked slightly offended. "Don't get all mushy on me. So long, princess." He turned and walked quickly away.

"Real romantic." Wes said, shaking his head. Leia threw a pillow at him.

Holo Leia barely waited before walking after him into a side passage. "Han!"

Leia groaned. "They had to put this in? Can we just skip this?"

"No!" Luke yelled. "You made us watch me and Han's conversation!" Leia moaned.

Han stopped, waiting for her. "Yes, your highnessness."

"I thought you had decided to stay." She asked him softly.

"Well, the bounty hunter we ran into on Ord Mantell changed my mind." He told her.

"What did happen there?" Luke asked. Leia and Han just shook their heads.

"Han, we need you!" Leia told him.

"We need?" Han asked.

"Yes." Leia replied.

"Well, what about you need?" Han asked.

Luke grinned. "I can see where this is going."

"I need." Leia repeated. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"He's making it fairly obvious." Hobbie smirked.

Holo Han shook his head, turning to walk away. "You probably don't."

"Actually," Real Leia murmured in his ear, "I did."

"And what precisely am I supposed to know?" Leia yelled, following him. A random rebel walking past gave them a strange look.

"Guess that must have looked pretty weird to him." Han grinned.

"Come on!" Han yelled back. "You want me to stay because of the way you feel about me." Leia could feel herself going red as she watched.

"Subtle, Han." Wedge told him.

"Yes!" Leia replied. "You're a great help to us. You're a natural leader."

"Leia, even I can tell that you are completely missing the point." Luke said, exasperated. Leia kicked him.

Han stopped, pointing at her. "No! That's not it. Come on." He drew back as another rebel came by with a box. Han laughed. "Come on!"

Leia drew back. "You're imagining things."

""No, I really don't think he was." Wedge snorted. By now, most of the people in the room were chuckling.

"Am I?" Han asked. "Then why are you following me?"

"Once again. Good point." Lando said.

"Afraid I was gonna leave without giving you a goodbye kiss?" He asked.

"I'd just as soon kiss a wookie." Leia snapped.

Everyone, even Han, began to have hysterics. "Leia, I never knew!" Chewie growled. Leia was bright red.

"I can arrange that!" Holo Han yelled, walking quickly away from her.

"Nice!" the rogues yelled.

"You could use a good kiss!" Han screamed venomously over his shoulder as he stamped down the passage.

"Great! Tell half the base!" Wedge laughed.

"I'm seriously surprised more people didn't hear that." Leia told him.

"Good way to leave an argument." Luke grinned.

The scene changed suddenly. 3PO and R2 were walking down a corridor together. Leia breathed a sigh of relief.

The droids seemed to be arguing. "Well, don't try to blame me." 3PO said. "I didn't ask you to turn on the thermal heater. I merely commented that it was freezing in the princess's chamber. But it's supposed to be freezing. How are we going to dry out all of her clothes?" By this point, the whole audience was laughing again.

"I wondered why it was so wet in there!" Leia exclaimed.

R2 beeped back. 3PO looked annoyed. "Oh, switch off!" The Rogues were having hysterics. Again.

Back at the _Falcon_, Han was yelling at Chewie. "Why did you pull both of these out? I'm trying to get us out of here, and you pull both of these –"

"Excuse me, sir." 3po said, waddling up to him.

"Damn droid." Real Han muttered.

"Put 'em back together right now!" He yelled at Chewie, ignoring 3PO.

"Might I have a word with you please?" 3PO asked. Han finally turned his attention to him.

"What do you want?"

"Well, it's Princess Leia, sir." He began. "She's been trying to get you on the communicator."

"I turned it off!" Han said angrily. "I don't wanna talk to her."

"Thanks." Leia muttered.

"Well," 3PO continued with a huff, "Princess Leia is wondering about Master Luke. He hasn't come back yet. She doesn't know where he is!"

"Finally, someone noticed I'm missing!" Luke exclaimed.

"I don't know where he is." Han told him.

"Han! I'm dying out here!" Luke yelled.

"Nobody knows where he is." 3PO told him.

Han squinted at him. "What do you mean, nobody knows?" Without waiting for a reply, he took off. "Deck officer!"

3PO came after him. "Excuse me sir. Might I inquire –" Han put a hand over his mouth. Leia grinned.

"Yes, sir." The deck officer replied, coming over.

"Do you know where commander Skywalker is?" He asked.

"I haven't seen him." Came the reply. "It's possible he came in through the south entrance."

"You people are so organized." Lando commented.

"It's possible." Han repeated. "Why don't you go find out? It's getting dark out there." The officer left. As soon as Han took his hand away from 3PO's mouth, he began to talk again.

"Excuse me, sir. Might I inquire what's going on?"

"Why not?" Han asked as he walked away. The audience grinned as 3PO huffed to himself, offended.

"Between ourselves." He told R2 as they left, "I think Master Luke is in considerable danger."

"You think?" Luke and Han asked at the same time.

The officer walked up to Han. "Sir, Commander Skywalker hasn't come in through the south entrance. He may have forgotten to check in."

"Wow, he seems so concerned!" Lando said.

"Not likely." Han replied. "Are the speeders ready?"

"Not yet. We're having some trouble adapting them to the cold."

"Then we'll have to go out on tauntauns." Han replied, pushing past him.

"Sir! The temperatures dropping too rapidly!" The officer ran after him.

"That's right. And my friends out in it." Luke grinned at Han.

"Your tauntaun will freeze before you reach the first marker!" He yelled as Han jumped on board a waiting tauntaun.

"Then I'll see you in hell!" Han yelled back as he took off.

"Thanks." Luke told him.

"No problem, kid."

The skeleton of some huge creature lay in a cave, half buried in snow. "Where are we?" Wes asked.

"Wampa's cave." Soon, Luke came into view, hanging upside down from the ceiling. His lightsabre lay a few feet away. He began to come around just as the wampa roared. The holo changed to it ripping into what remained of the tauntaun. Leia grimaced.

Luke pulled himself up, trying to pull his feet out of the ceiling, nut they were frozen. Dropping back down again, he reached for the lightsabre.

"Can't you do some Force stuff on it?" Wedge asked.

"That's what I'm trying to do." Luke gritted his teeth.

"Doesn't look like it's working." Wedge replied.

Just then, the lightsabre began to come loose. Luke smirked at Wedge. Unfortunately, that was when the Wampa noticed Luke was awake, and stood, covered in blood. Just as he reached him, the lightsabre flew into Luke's hand and he cut himself free, falling to the ground and cutting the wampa's arm off. The Rogues cheered.

Quickly, Luke charged out of the cave, stumbling and falling through the snow.

"Luke," Leia asked suddenly, "Why didn't you just kill it and stay in the cave?" She watched in amusement as her brother looked shocked.

"I…"

Han and his tauntaun suddenly appeared. Han stopped and looked around for a moment before continuing.

R2 and 3PO stood at the entrance of the base. R2 was scanning the area. "You must come along now, R2." 3PO said. "There's really nothing more we can do. And my joints are freezing up!" R2 just beeped at him.

Luke grinned. "Isn't that little droid great?"

"Don't say things like that!" 3PO told him as he hurried away. "Of course we'll see master Luke again! And, he'll be quite all right. You'll see!"

"What about me?" Han grumbled.

Back outside, Luke finally fell to the ground, exhausted. Han, seeing something, jumped off his tauntaun and took off, holding a massive scanning device.

Back at the base, a lieutenant came over to Major Derlin. "Sir! All the patrols are in still no –" Derlin held up a hand to stop him, indicating Leia, who paced nearby, watching them. The lieutenant lowered his voice. "Still no contact from Skywalker or Solo."

Real Leia bit her lip, looking down at her clenched fist. On the holo, 3PO came up to her. "Mistress Leia, R2 says that he has been quite unable to pick up any signals, although he does admit that his own rang is far too weak to abandon all hope."

"Way to make me feel better." Leia muttered.

Derlin came over to them. "Your Highness, there's nothing more we can do tonight. Those shield doors must be closed." Leia looked away, but nodded. "Close the doors." He ordered. Chewie came towards them, resting his head sadly on a pole.

3PO continued to talk. "R2 says the chances of survival are 775… to one."

Leia winced. "What is it with him and his odds?"

"Especially since we always seem to prove them wrong." Han added.

Leia and Chewie watched in terror as the shield doors closed, shutting Luke and Han out. Chewie let out a roar of despair.

3PO turned back to Leia. "Actually, R2 has been known to make mistakes. From time to time." Leia, continuing to lean against the ship, didn't seem to have heard him.

3PO put his hand on R2's dome. "Don't worry about Master Luke. I'm sure he'll be all right. He's quite clever, you know."

"Sometimes." Han drawled, grinning as Luke made a noise of protest.

"…For a human being." 3PO finished. In spite of the seriousness of the situation, the audience burst into laughter.


	3. You Scruffy Looking Nerf Herder!

**Hey, everyone! Look! I'm still alive! Sorry, I was attacked by Darth Real Life. And my document uploader wasn't working properly. Anyway, sorry!**

**Thanks SO SO SO SO SO much for the reviews! You guys are amazing!**

**Please keep reviewing! Means a lot to me.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Goodbye.**

* * *

><p>Luke lay half buried under the snow. Suddenly, Obi – Wan's voice came out of nowhere. "Luke."<p>

"Oh man, not this again!" Wedge groaned.

On the holo, the ghostly figure of Obi – Wan came into view. Luke raised his head, looking confused.

"Ok, now that's just creepy." Wes told him.

"Force ghost." Luke explained.

"Ben?" Holo Luke asked.

"You will go to the Dagobah system." Obi – Wan announced.

Han snorted. "Not giving you much of a choice there, is he?"

"Dagobah system?" Holo Luke repeated.

"Well, think of how weird it was for me!" Luke told the others.

"There you will learn from Yoda." Obi – Wan continued.

"Who?" Everyone in the room asked. Luke grinned.

"You will see." He said excitedly.

"The Jedi master who instructed me." Obi – Wan finished.

"How old is this guy?" Hobbie asked. Luke just grinned again.

Holo Luke reached out towards the ghostly man. "Ben…" He moaned. Just then, Obi – Wan disappeared and a tauntaun came charging towards him. Luke finally passed out.

"You know, you always seem to have really good timing." Luke remarked to Han.

"Luke!" Holo Han yelled, jumping off of the tauntaun and stumbling toward his friend. Just as he reached him, the tauntaun fell over, dead.

"Too bad it didn't rub off on the tauntaun." Leia added.

Holo Han looked back and forth between Luke and the tantaun for a moment, and then began to pull Luke over to it. He lay on the ground, moaning about Ben and Dagobah.

"At the time, I really thought you were going crazy." Han commented.

"What, you don't think so now?" Leia asked dryly. Han snorted.

Holo Han suddenly pulled out Luke's lightsabre and activated it. Real Luke let out a noise of protest. "What! You took my lightsabre?" He whined.

"How else was I supposed to cut the thing open?" Han asked as his holo self did exactly the same thing. Some of the innards began to pour out. Multiple people around the room made disgusted noises.

"Whew." Han puffed as he put down the lightsabre and began to stuff Luke into the carcass. "This may smell bad, kid."

"You think?" Luke still sounded outraged. The others hid grins.

"But it will keep you warm," Holo Han continued, "Until I get the shelter up." All the while, Luke was still moaning about Dagobah. "Ugh." He said once he had finished. "And I thought they smelled bad when they were alive." Standing up, he began to put up the shelter.

Daytime now. A small ship flew over the surface, looking for Luke and Han. A small beeping noise went off inside the ship.

"Hey, that's Zev!" Wes said.

"Echo base." He began. "I've got something. Not much, but it could be a life form." He continued on. "Commander Skywalker, this is Rogue Two, do you copy? Captain Solo, do you copy?"

"Good morning!" Han's voice suddenly came over the comm. "Nice of you guys to drop by!"

Despite their best efforts, the audience laughed as the pilot grinned, quickly signaling Echo Base. The Rogues started cheering. Leia grinned, remembering how relieved she had been. Soon, the ship had landed next to the waving Han.

The next scene showed Luke floating in a bacta tank. Leia, Han and the droids stood around him.

"Nice nappy, Lukie." Wes smirked. Luke went red. Very soon though, he was taken out of the tank and put into one of the beds. 3PO began talking at him.

"Oh, Master Luke, sir, it's so good to see you fully functional again!" The droid exclaimed. He was cut off by the arrival of Han and Chewie, who lent down by his bed.

"How' ya feeling, kid? You don't look so bad to me. You look strong enough to pull ears off a gundark." Han told him, Chewie growling accompaniment.

"Why would anyone want to pull the ears off a gundark?" Wes asked randomly. Han gave him a strange look.

"Thanks to you." Luke replied, grinning.

Han grinned back. "That's two you owe me, junior." They both laughed. Han turned around, looking at Leia, who had been sitting on another bunk. "Well, your worship, looks like you managed to keep me around for a little while longer."

Wedge looked like he was about to say something, but he was cut off by Luke, Leia and Han all diving frantically for the holo player. Leia felt her arms being grabbed from behind – Wedge and Hobbie were pulling her back to her seat, away from the holo. Han and Luke were suffering the same fate. Before she could do anything, they had her pinned on the couch and held her down as the other two joined her – also held captive – and someone started it up again. Leia gritted her teeth.

"I had nothing to do with it." She heard herself say, "General Rieekan thinks that it is too dangerous for any ships to leave the system until we've activated he energy field."

"I'm sure he did." Wedge said with a totally straight face. Leia glared at him.

"That's a good story." Holo Han said cockily. "I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight."

The others were all laughing. Leia blushed. Han and Luke glanced at each other.

Leia could see herself getting angry. She shook her head slowly. "I don't know where you get your delusions, laser brain."

The Rogues were choking with laughter now. "Laser… Brain?" Hobbie gasped.

"I think I know where he got those delusions." Wes grinned. Han kicked him. Luke grinned.

Towards the side of the Holo, Chewie let out a laugh. Holo Han turned to him slowly. "Laugh it up, fuzzball."

Even Leia let out a snort. "Fuzzball? Walking Carpet? I love the names you two come up with for people." Lando sniggered. Han and Leia shot him identical glares.

"But you didn't see us alone in the South Passage." Han continued, putting his arm around Leia. "She admitted her true feelings for me."

"She did?" Luke mumbled. Leia winced.

"Why –" Holo Leia spluttered. "Why you – stuck up, scruffy looking, half witted… Nerf herder!" Han turned around and walked slowly towards Luke with a mock tragic expression on his face.

To Leia's annoyance, the others were beyond hysterics. "I agree with Lando." Wes told them. "Nerf herder?"

Holo Han turned towards her slowly, a deeply offended expression on his face. "Who's scruffy lookin'?"

"Of all the names I called you, you get the most upset at 'scruffy looking'. Typical." Leia remarked.

"Yeah, he's nearly as vain as Lando." Wedge sniggered. "Ow!" Both men had thrown pillows at him.

"It's a pillow." Luke gasped. "How can it hurt?"

Holo Han leaned down towards Luke, who looked rather uncomfortable with the situation. "I must have hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh, kid?"

Leia winced, telepathically screaming at the screen to skip the next scene. Luke and Han didn't look very happy either.

Leia watched herself in horror as she walked slowly up to them. "Well, I guess you don't know everything about women yet." Real Leia put her hands over her face as she watched herself kiss Luke, glare at Han and march out.

There was a dead silence in Leia's room for a moment. Then everyone began talking at once.

"Wait, you kissed Lukie?"

"You kissed him first?"

"But you're in love with Han!"

"Luke, you never told us this!"

"When was I supposed to?"

Leia glared at Han. "Your fault."

"Oh? And how did you figure that one out?"

"I was angry at you." She turned to Luke, who was purple. "You do know how much worse that is now."

He went purpler. "I'm trying not to think about it."

There was a shout of laughter from the Rogues. Holo Luke had leaned back, a smug look on his face, yawning nonchalantly. Han looked furious.

"A bit corny, kid." Han grumbled.

The extremely awkward silence was broken by the faint sound of an alarm. "All command personnel, please report to the command center."

"That actually came at quite a good time." Luke muttered.

"Take it easy." Han told Luke as he, Chewie and the droids left the med centre.

General Rieekan stared at a screen in the command centre. "Princess." He said. "We have a visitor." Han and Leia both moved over to the screen. "We've picked up something outside the base in Zone 12, moving east."

"It's metal." The lieutenant next to him added.

"Then it couldn't be one of those." Leia said.

"It could be a speeder, one of ours." Han remarked.

"What were you doing there, anyway?" Real Leia asked him. Han just shrugged at her.

"No." The lieutenant said. "Wait." A faint static noise came through. "There's something very weak coming through."

"Sir, I am fluent in over six million types of communication." 3PO butted in from the side.

"No one cares." Real Han and Leia said at the same time.

The droid continued. "This signal is not used by the alliance. It could be an imperial code."

"It isn't friendly, whatever it is." Han said. "Come on, Chewie, let's go check it out."

"Oh, shit." Lando added.

Out in the snow again, the hood of Han's parka came into view as a probe droid glided slowly across the surface. All of a sudden, Chewie jumped out from the other side. As it began to fire bolts at him, Han jumped up and shot it. The probe exploded.

Han's voice came over the intercom. "'Fraid there's not much left."

"What was it?" Leia replied.

"Droid of some kind. I didn't hit it that hard, must've had a self destruct!"

"An Imperial probe droid." Leia said grimly.

"It's a good bet the Empire knows we're here."

"We'd better start the evacuation." Rieekan said.

"Oh, so is that how you decide things up there?" Wedge asked. "Han says, 'I think that could have been a probe droid', and then we pack up and leave?"

"Well, how did you think we did it?" Leia asked him.

A whole fleet of Star Destroyers floated around in space. Leia winced. TIE fighters flew between them. As the Holo changed views, Vader was shown standing on the bridge of the largest ship. Leia shuddered.

Two officers walked towards him before being called over by a captain. "I think we've got something. The report is only a fragment from a probe droid in the Hoth system, but it's the best lead we've had'"

"No, you don't." Luke said forcefully. "Now you really want to go take a nap, don't you?"

Leia rolled her eyes. "Not going to work on a holo, Luke."

"We have thousands of probe droids searching the galaxy." The man replied angrily. "I want proof, not leads!"

They argued for a moment, before Vader came up behind them. "You found something?"

The men immediately snapped to attention. "Yes, my lord." Vader took one look at the screen.

"That's it. The rebels are there."

"My lord." The admiral looked nervous. "There are so many uncharted settlements. It could be smugglers, it could be –"

"What smuggler would want to live there?" Han asked.

"Us." Chewie growled. Leia grinned.

Vader was having none of it. "Set your course for the Hoth system. General Veers, prepare your men!"

Back on the base, the rebels worked gave out orders, busily readying their ships. Han sat on top of the _Falcon,_ trying to put something back together. "Try it!" He yelled to Chewie, who sat in the cockpit. Chewie pulled a lever, immediately causing an explosion. Han yelled at him while Chewie waved his arms around frantically.

"How you two survived, I will never know." Leia commented.

In the med bay, Luke zipped up his flight suit as he spoke to the med droid, before running out to the hanger. "Chewie? Take care of yourself, ok?" He reached up to scratch his friend on the neck. Chewie let out a mournful wail, before pulling Luke into a suffocating hug.

"Hi, kid!" Luke looked up. Han leaned against the roof of the _Falcon._ He talked to a droid for a moment before turning his attention to Luke. "You all right?"

Luke nodded. "Yeah." He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he and Han just shrugged at each other and grinned.

"Ah, the manly version of a tearful farewell." Wes commented.

"Be careful." Han called out, just as he was turning to leave.

Luke looked back over his shoulder. "You too."

Back in High Command, a lieutenant called Rieekan over. "General? There's a fleet of Star Destroyers coming out of hyperspace in sector 4."

"Once again, oh shit." Said Lando.

Rieekan began to give out orders. Meanwhile, the Destroyers closed in on the planet. Inside, a capsule opened, revealing Vader, as the general from before stood outside. "What is it, General?"

"What is that thing?" Leia asked. Luke shrugged.

"Meditation thing, I think?"

"My lord, the fleet has moved out of lightspeed." Veers announced. "Comm scan has detected an energy field protecting an area of the sixth planet of the Hoth system. The field id strong enough to deflect any bombardment."

"The rebels are alerted to our presence." Vader sounded annoyed. "Admiral Ozzel came out of lightspeed too close to the system."

The nervousness was plain in Veers's voice. "H-He felt surprise was wiser."

"He is as clumsy as he is stupid. General, prepare your troops for a surface attack." As Veers left, Vader turned to a viewing screen, which switched on to show Admiral Ozzel and his second in command. Several people looked confused.

Ozzel began to speak, but was cut off as Vader began to choke him. "You have failed me for the last time, admiral."

"Wait, he can do that through a viewing screen?" Hobbie sounded very nervous.

"Apparently." Luke replied.

"Captain Piett." Vader began to speak to the second in command as the Admiral continued to choke. "You are in command now…" Ozzel fell to the ground. "Admiral Piett."

"Woah, talk about harsh punishment." Wedge shook his head.

Back on the Rebel base, Leia was giving a briefing to a group of pilots. Just as she finished, Hobbie spoke up for the first time in the holo. "Two fighters against a Star Destroyer?"

Leia couldn't hear her answer over the excitement of the Rogues. She and Han exchanged amused glances as Hobbie jumped up and down yelling with excitement.

"I finally got a line!" He screamed.

"What about me?" Wes was annoyed.

They finally calmed down enough for Leia to catch her 'Good luck' before they all ran off towards their ships.

Outside, the Rebels, practically invisible in their white suits, scanned the horizon warily as they hid in trenches. Back inside, General Rieekan and Leia watched a screen. "The primary target will be the power generators." He said grimly. "Prepare to open the shields!" Off planet, the first of the Rebel ships began to appear.

"Stand by ion control… Fire." The female rebel's voice said as the ion cannon fired several shots towards the Destroyers, hitting, but not enough to do any real damage. The first transport sped past it, flanked by the two x – wings. Down on the base, the rebels burst into cheers as someone announced this. The group sitting in Leia's room joined in.

Luke ran across the hanger, jumping into a speeder. Dack twisted around to look at him. "Feeling all right, sir?"

"Just like new, Dack. How about you?"

"Right now I feel like I could take on the whole empire by myself." He replied. The Rogues and Luke exchanged glances.

"I guess he didn't make it?" Lando asked. Luke shook his head.

Outside the base, the first walkers began to come into view.


	4. Would It Help if I Got Out And Pushed?

**It's me again! Anyone remember this? I'm SO sorry this has taken so long - I was attacked by Darth Real Life, Darth Homework, Darth Extremely Sick AND Dart The-Internet-Is-Broken. All at the same time.**

**So, anyway, here's some more of the epic tale of ESB. Enjoy!**

**Thanks HEAPS for the reviews! You guys are absolutely AMAZING!**

**PLEASE keep reviewing! I love knowing what you all thought..**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

Lifting a pair of binoculars to his eyes, one of the rebels outsides the base watched as the first of the Imperial Walkers came into view. Everyone groaned, with the exception of Lando.

"What…" He began.

"Imperial Walkers." Leia explained.

Lando frowned, peering at the screen. "They look like Chy'kinz."

Han snorted. "Giant, robotic, killer Chy'kinz."

As the rebels reported the Imperials, R2 rolled through the base. "Now what's he doing? Lando asked.

"I'm not –" Luke broke off as a pile of snow fell onto the droid's head, causing the audience to chuckle.

"I never would have guessed that our lives were this funny." Leia grinned.

Back in the hanger, the Rogues jumped into the waiting speeders, taking off just as outside the base, the Walkers began to fire on the rebels. Lando snorted again. "Sorry! Those just look too ridiculous to take seriously."

Hobbie glared at him. "You'd take them seriously enough if you were being attacked by them.

"Echo Station 57," Holo Luke said from his cockpit, "We're on our way." To the Rogues, "All right boys, keep tight now."

"Luke!" Dack frantically yelled from behind him, "I have no approach vector. I'm not set!"

"Steady, Dack." Luke replied. "Attack pattern Delta."

"Yeah, no approach vector, no problem, it'll be fine." Leia muttered.

The ships swooped around the Walkers. Luke began to dive towards one from above. "All right, I'm coming in." He flew under one of the Walkers. "Hobbie, you still with me?"

"I was in this fight, too!" Wes whined.

"Uh, exactly what was the point of that little flying maneuver?" Chewie growled. Han translated.

"You know, I was wondering that myself." Wedge replied.

The rebels and the Walkers continued to fire on each other. Leia winced. The ships flew around one of them, firing on the Walker – which suddenly showed Vader sitting inside. Leia and Luke both winced this time.

"Wait, he was there?" Luke asked in disbelief.

"That armor's too strong for blasters!" Holo Luke shouted.

"I think we got that, Commander." Hobbie replied. Luke gave him a look.

"Rogue group!" Holo Luke continued shouting. "Use your harpoons and tow cables. Go for the legs! I might be are only chance of stopping them. All right, stand by, Dack."

"Luke, we've got a malfunction in fire control!" Dack replied. "I'll have to go to the auxiliary!"

"That ship's nearly as bad as the _Falcon_." Leia commented dryly, earning her a glare from Han.

Holo Luke was starting to look really worried. "Just hang on! Hang on, Dack. Get ready to fire that tow cable."

Suddenly there was an explosion from the back. The four Rogues sucked in breaths. Holo Luke turned around. "Dack? Dack!" His expression became one of terror as he realized his gunner was dead. Leia squeezed his hand.

Meanwhile, the rebels and Imperials continued to fire on each other, the rebel's blasts making no difference to the Walkers, which continued to draw closer to the base.

"Are we getting close to the part where I have to rescue you – again?" Han asked Leia with a smirk. She shrugged at him.

There was a giant explosion as one of the rebel's guns was hit. Almost immediately, the screen switched to a hologram of Vader. An Imperial officer spoke to him. "Yes, Lord Vader. I have reached the main power generator. The shield will be down in moments."

Back to Luke. "Rogue Three," He yelled.

"Copy, Rogue Leader." Wedge answered.

Luke continued. "Wedge, I've lost my gunner. You'll have to make this shot. I'll cover for you. Set your harpoon, follow me on the next pass."

"Coming around, Rogue Leader."

"Steady, Rogue Two." Luke yelled as the speeders raced around the legs of a Walker.

"Activate harpoon!" Wedge told his gunner.

If he said anything else, Leia didn't hear it over the Rogue's whoops.

"It's me! I'm finally in this thing!" Wes screamed as he hugged the others wildly. Leia and Han exchanged amused glances.

They finally calmed down enough to hear Wedge say "Good shot, Janson," Which sent them all into cheers again.

The speeder flew in a circle around the legs, rope trailing behind. "One more pass." Wedge growled.

"Coming around. Once more." Holo Wes replied breathlessly, which of course had Wes start screaming again.

"Cable out! Let her go!" Holo Wes yelled.

"Detach cable." Both Wedges replied.

"Cable detached!" Both Wes's screamed. The speeder broke away. The Walker, unable to move its legs, fell head first onto the ground. This time, the entire audience clapped, with Wedge and Wes hollering and jumping around. On the holo, the rebel troops also cheered, a group breaking away to storm the fallen Walker.

"Woo! That got him!" Holo Wedge cheered.

"I see it, Wedge. Good work." Luke replied.

"What am I, bantha dung?" Wes asked him. He saw Hobbie begin to open his mouth and winced. "Actually, don't answer that."

Back in the Command, Rieekan walked over to Leia. "I don't think we can protect two transports at a time."

Leia shook her head. "It's risky, but we can't hold out much longer." The room shook. "We have no choice."

Rieekan nodded. "Launch patrol."

Leia turned to someone else. "Evacuate remaining ground staff."

They were in the hanger. Han and Chewie were both on top of the _Falcon_, Han fiddling with some wires, Chewie reaching into a hole. Suddenly Han jumped up, waving his tool at Chewie. "No! No! This one goes there, that one goes there. Right?"

Real Han glared at Chewie. "Damn furball."

Chewie looked embarrassed. "I was stressed!"

"Typical ship." Leia sighed.

In another part of the hanger, R2 was being loaded onto an x – wing. 3PO came running up to him. "R2?"

"Aww, how sweet." Lando smirked.

"Take good care of Master Luke now, understand?" R2 beeped in reply. "And… Do take good care of yourself." 3PO shook his head as he walked away. "Dear, oh dear."

Outside, the fight was still going strong. Some smaller versions of the walkers began to appear. In one of them, the Imperial from before turned to a stormtrooper. "All troops will debark for ground assault. Prepare to target the main generator."

Luke frowned. "What's up with that one's armor?"

The others looked at it. The armor was nothing like what she normally saw the stormtroopers wearing. "Special squad?" She suggested.

Hobbie shook his head. "Nah, I thin they ran out of the normal ones."

"Or that one's just trendier than the others." Wes added helpfully. "The normal armor is just so last season."

Wedge shot him a strange look. "Is there something you want to tell us, Wes?"

Luke looked over at the speeder next to him. "Rogue Two, are you all right?"

"I'm with you, Rogue Leader." Zev replied.

"Set harpoon! I'll cover for you!" Luke ordered.

"Coming around." Zev replied.

"Watch that crossfire, boys." Luke ordered as they went speeding towards another walker.

"Set for position three." Zev told him. Luke winced when he saw his face was covered in blood."

"What happened to him?" Han asked.

Holo Luke continued to give orders. "Stay tight and low. This is it!"

Before they could do anything, Zev's speeder was hit and exploded. The audience winced. Almost immediately, Luke's speeder was hit too. Lightning started to jump back and forth across him. "Hobbie! I've been hit!" With one last desperate turn, he managed to avoid crashing into the Walker and ploughed into the snow.

"That's gotta hurt." Leia observed.

"It does." Luke agreed. His holo self quickly jumped out of the speeder – only to see the walker coming straight towards him. He jumped out of the way just in time to avoid being trampled.

Han ran through the base, dodging chunks of falling snow and rock. "Finally!" Real Han grinned, seeing himself.

Holo Han burst into the Command centre. The room was a mess. Most of the personnel had already been evacuated, leaving only Leia, 3PO and a couple of rebels. Han immediately started making his way over to Leia. "You all right?"

"Ah, young love." Wes said dreamily.

"That's it. I know he's a girl now." Wedge muttered.

Holo Leia turned towards him, shock evident on her face. "Why are you still here?" She yelled back at him.

Real Leia winced. Han glared at her. "I try to rescue you, and this is always the thanks I get." He complained. Leia blushed.

"I heard the command centre had been hit." Han replied, undaunted.

Leia didn't turn around from her screen. "You've got your clearance to leave."

Han jumped over some of the rubble towards her. "Don't worry. I'll leave. But first of all, I'm gonna get you to your ship!"

"That failed." Leia observed.

3PO turned to her. "Your highness, we must take this last transport. It's our only hope!"

"Only time I'll ever agree with that droid." Real Han said. Luke grinned.

Holo Han finally made his way over to Leia. She ducked under his arm, running over to another technician. "Send all troops in Sector Twelve to the south slope to protect the fighters."

Han looked around at the others. "See? This is what I had to put up with!"

Luke rolled his eyes at his sister. "It's like you wanted to stay there or something."

There was another huge explosion. 3PO fell backwards into Han, who pushed him roughly away, running over to Leia. The loudspeaker began yelling. "Imperial Troops have entered the base."

Han grabbed Leia. "Come on. That's it." She looked at him for a moment before turning to the technician. "Give the evacuation code signal. And get to your transports!" She yelled as Han dragged her out, 3PO following.

Lando chuckled. "You're going soft, Solo." Han fixed him with a glare. Chewie laughed.

Ouside, the rebels were loosing the fight. Luke ran through the snow behind a Walker, shooting at it. Lando frowned. "Uh, Luke, what exactly are you doing now?"

"You'll see!" Luke said happily. "This bit's good."

Just then, his harpoon stuck into the belly of the Walker, and Luke was pulled up towards it. The others laughed. Once up there, Luke activated hit lightsabre cut a hole into the bottom of the Walker, and threw a bomb into it. Quickly, he fell off, crashing into the ground unconscious. Moments later, the huge machine exploded. The audience grinned at Luke.

"Nice one, kid." Han told him.

Inside the base, Han and Leia ran frantically, a terrified 3PO trying to keep up. Leia let out a scream as part of the ceiling caved in. Han quickly covered her with his body, jumping up to inspect the damage as soon as the cave – in stopped.

"That hurt." Leia complained.

Han came back over to grab Leia, speaking into his comm. "Transport? This is Solo. Better take off, I can't get to you. I'll get her out on the _Falcon._" The pair turned around, running the other way past 3PO, who threw his hands up in the air. "Wait, where are you going?" The droid asked in confusion. The audience smirked at him as he started to follow Han and Leia, who were out of sight.

"Damn, Wes, why didn't we think of using him for entertainment around the base?" Hobbie grumbled. "We could've made a lot of credits."

In another part of the base, Vader entered, a troop of stormtroopers running around him. Nearer the hanger, Leia and Han disappeared through an automatic door, which slid shut just as 3PO arrived. "Hey! Wait! Wait for me! Stop!" The droid turned around in annoyance. "How typical –"

The door opened and Han grabbed him. "Come on!"

"Why did I have to do that?" Han growled.

Chewie was waiting for them outside the _Falcon._ Han and Leia ran into the ship. Han turned around briefly to yell at 3PO. "Hurry up, Goldenrod, or you're gonna be a permanent resident!" The droid had only made it halfway up the ramp before it began to close.

Inside the ship, Han and Chewie frantically tried to get it started. Real Leia rolled her eyes.

"Would it help if I got out and pushed?" Holo Leia snapped.

Han spared her a glance. "It might!"

The rest of the audience burst out laughing. 3PO ran up to them. "Captain Solo! Captain Solo! Sir, might I suggest that you –" He shut up as Han turned and looked at him furiously, holding up a finger.

"Poor 3PO." Luke was having trouble controlling his grin. "No one ever listens to droids."

Han ran into the cockpit, frantically pressing the buttons. The lights came on – and died. Han slammed his fist into the wall and they came back on. The others sniggered.

"Uh, how did you find out that you can turn on the _Falcon_ by hitting the wall?" Wedge asked warily. Han and Chewie exchanged looks.

"Um…" Han replied, "I got angry because she wasn't working and…"

Chewie finished the sentence for him. Leia burst out laughing, then translated. "He slammed his head against it in annoyance and she started working again. Except that he didn't know this for quite a while, because he had knocked himself out." She grinned at Han, who blushed slightly.

Holo Leia had followed him into the cockpit. "This bucket of bolts is never going to get us past that blockade."

"This baby's got a few surprises left in her, sweetheart." He told her, trying to get the controls working. Outside the ship, the stormtroopers had finally reached the hanger. The _Falcon's _belly gun came out, shooting several of them. Chewie had followed them into the cockpit, sitting down in his oversized chair. "See?" Han told Leia smugly as the engine began to turn on.

Leia leaned forwards. "Someday you're gonna be wrong, and I just hope I'm there to see it."

"Famous last words." Real Leia muttered.

"Hey! We got out!" Han told her.

Leia smirked. "Kind of."

"Punch it!" Han ordered Chewie. The ship took off just as Vader entered the hanger.

"That was close!" Luke told them.

Outside, Luke was still struggling back to the others when he heard the sound of an engine and saw the _Falcon_ go streaking by. He grinned. Real Luke scowled at the others. "You could've given me a ride, you know."

"Didn't you have to go to Dagobah?"

"Oh yeah…"

Luke had finally reached the others. He waved to R2, sitting in the back of his x – wing. "R2, get her ready for takeoff." He jumped into the ship.

Wedge called over from his x – wing. "Hey, Luke! See you at the rendezvous!" Luke waved at him.

Real Wedge gave him a death glare. "What?" Luke asked innocently. "I was only about three months late!"

"Don't worry!" Luke told R2. "We're going, we're going!" Out in space, R2 beeped uncomfortably. "There's nothing wrong, R2." Luke said reassuringly. "I'm just setting a new course." More beeps. "We're not gonna regroup with the others. We're going to the Dagobah system." Beeps. "Yes, R2." More beeps. Luke grinned. "That's all right. I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."

"I like your droids, Lukie." Wedge grinned.

"I like one of your droids, and I think you can guess which." Han drawled.

"I always knew you and 3PO were closer than you let on." Leia smirked.

In another part of space, the _Falcon_ was being chased by a star destroyer and a whole squad of fighters. Han glared at Luke. "Why'd you get it so easy?"

"I saw 'em, I saw 'em!" Han yelled at Chewie. Leia looked angry.

"Saw what?"

"Star destroyers. Two of 'em, coming right at us." 3PO chose that moment to make himself present. "Sir! Sir!"

"Shut him up or shut him down!" Han yelled at Leia. To Chewie, "Check the deflector shields!"

Lando shook his head. "If you two damage my ship…"

Han gave him a look. "We've been over this before. I won her from you."

Holo Chewie barked a negative. Han winced. "Oh, great. Well, we can still out maneuver!" The ship ducked down, away from the Star Destroyers. "Prepare to make the jump to lightspeed."

"But Sir!" 3PO shrieked.

"The one time you should have listened to him." Leia shook her head.

"They're getting closer." Holo Leia said.

"Oh yeah? Well, watch this!" Han reached out and pulled on a lever. Nothing happened. There was a pause, and then everyone except for Han burst out laughing.

"Watch what?" Leia asked from behind him, sounding annoyed.

The ship lurched. "Think we're in trouble." Han muttered.

3PO was struggling to stay upright. "If I may say so, Sir, I noticed earlier that the hyperspace motivator has been damaged. It's impossible to go to lightspeed!"

Han jumped out of his seat, running out of the cockpit. "We're in trouble."

Luke smirked at Leia. "Yeah, I think I got the better of the two droids."

"Wanna swap?" She and Han both asked at the same time.

Han worked frantically at a control panel somewhere back in the ship. "Horizontal boosters!" He yelled at Chewie. "Alluvial dampeners?" He leaned over a bar so that he was basically hanging upside down. "Ow!" He straightened back up. "No, that's not it! Bring me the hydrospanners!"

Chewie carried a box of tools over to the edge of the pit Han was in. "Don't know how we're gonna get out of this one." He said grimly as he grabbed the tool and ducked back down. Just then, the entire ship shook, sending the toolbox crashing down on top of him. The rogues were in hysterics by this point, and Luke and Leia were not far off.

Han reappeared, looking around. "That wasn't a laser blast! Something hit us!"

"Han! Get up here!" Leia ordered from the cockpit. He quickly ran over. "Asteroids." She told him.

Real Leia let out a moan. "Wait, you're not gonna go through them, are you?" Hobbie asked nervously.

"Unfortunately, that's exactly what he decided to do." Leia told him.

Han slid into his seat. "Chewie, set 271."

Leia looked horrified. "What're you doing? You're not actually going into an asteroid field?"

"They'd be crazy to follow us, wouldn't they?" Han replied.

"You're crazy." Luke shook his head. "Leia, I can't say I begrudge you that experience."

Leia was shaking her head. "You don't have to do this to impress me."

Real Han grinned at her. "Yeah I do." She rolled her eyes.

3PO was panicking. "Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,721 to 1!"

"Never tell me the odds!" Both Han's yelled.


	5. Slimy? Mudhole? My home, This is!

**Hey everyone! I'm back!**

**Really sorry about the huge wait - I had quite a few computer issues, and then got writer's block. Hopefully i will be able to update a lot more regularly now - about once a week or so. **

**Thanks SO SO SO much for the reviews! I always get really excited to hear what you guys have to say. PLEASE keep reviewing!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

><p>The <em>Falcon <em>dodged between the huge asteroids, three TIE fighters following close behind. The Rogues cheered as two of them crashed into an asteroid, exploding.

Inside the cockpit, Han, Leia, Chewie and 3PO were thrown roughly from side to side as Han tried to miss the asteroids. "You said you wanted to be around when I made a mistake." Han drawled. "Well, this could be it, sweetheart!"

The others snickered while Real Leia rolled her eyes. "I didn't exactly mean it like _that."_ Just as her Holo Self said, "I take it back. We're going to get pulverized if we stay out here much longer."

"Pulverized?" Wes asked, grinning. "Hey, that's a cool word!" Leia rolled her eyes.

"I'm not going to argue with that." Han muttered.

"As you shouldn't. I'm always right." Wes replied happily.

"I was talking to Leia, not you!" Real Han complained.

"I'm going in closer to one of the big ones." Han continued.

Leia looked horrified. "Closer?"

"_Closer?"_ 3PO echoed.

"CLOSER?" Chewie roared.

"_CLOSER!_" Luke, Wes Wedge and Hobbie screamed. Leia threw a pillow at Luke.

The _Falcon_ was now flying very close to the surface, dodging laser fire from the TIE fighters. Han ducked closer to the surface, zooming into a huge crevasse, the TIEs still in pursuit. Very soon, they were destroyed.

"Oh, this is suicide!" 3PO wailed as they came back of out of the crevasse. "There's no where to go!"

Han ignored him. "There." He said to Chewie, pointing at a huge hole in the ground in front of them. "That looks pretty good."

"What looks pretty good?" Leia leaned forwards.

"Um, the giant hole, Leia." Luke told her.

"Yeah, that'll do nicely." Han continued to himself as, with a huge flip, they descended into the hole."

"Not one of your best moves." Chewie rumbled.

"Hey, it turned out all right in the end!" Han protested.

"I hope you know what you're doing." Leia told Han as the outside light faded away.

"Yeah, me too." Han replied.

Luke frowned. "That's a weird looking tunnel."

Leia, Han and Chewie winced simultaneously. "You'll see."

The holo changed scenes. Now it showed an x – wing descending towards a planet Leia had never seen before.

"Me again!" Luke commented happily as he saw him and R2.

"Is that Dagobah?" Lando asked. Luke nodded.

R2 was beeping uncomfortably in the back. "No, I'm not going to change my mind about this." Luke said patiently. He glanced at his sensors. "I'm not picking up any cities or technology. Massive life form readings, though. There's something alive down there."

"Why would a Jedi master want to live there?" Wedge asked.

"It just gets worse." Luke told him.

"Yes, I'm sure it's perfectly safe for droids." He assured R2.

"Well, except for the swamp creatures." Luke blushed.

"Swamp creatures?" Leia repeated skeptically.

The x – wing quickly descended into heavy clouds. "I know, I know!" Luke was yelling. "All the scopes are dead. I can't see a thing. Just hang on – I'm gonna start the landing cycle."

"Be funny if you crashed." Hobbie sniggered.

Lando raised his eyebrows as the x – wing was buffeted by trees. "I still don't get why a great warrior would want to live there."

"Funny you should say that…." Luke began, but was cut off as his ship crashed into a swamp. Hobbie burst out laughing.

Holo Luke slowly raised the top of his x – wing, looking around nervously. Jumping out of his ship, he walked into the swamp, turning to look at R2. "No, R2, you stay put. I think I'll go have a look around." Just as he finished, the ground began to shake, knocking the droid into the swamp. Han sniggered.

"R2?" Luke called. "R2!" He looked into the swamp. Finally, R2's sensor antennae appeared above the water. Leia let out a small sigh of relief.

Holo Luke sighed. "You be more careful." He jumped into the swamp, which was almost up to his neck. Lando wrinkled his nose. Lue and R2 began to swim towards shore – neither of them noticing the sleek black shape coming towards R2 in the water.

"Uh, what is that?" Leia asked. Holo Luke had just climbed out of the water when the black thing suddenly pulled the droid under the waves.

"R2!" Luke screamed, pointing his blaster into the water. He was just wading in after him when, with a shriek, R2 flew out of the water and landed in the forest.

"Guess he didn't taste that good." Han grinned.

Luke ran into the jungle after him, finding the little astromech droid upside own, covered in slime. "Oh, no." He groaned.

"R2 isn't having a very good day, is he?" Wedge asked. As Luke heaved the droid up, grunting heavily.

Luke blushed as the others smirked at him. "What? You try picking him up! He's heavy!"

Holo Luke looked around. "You were saying coming here was a bad idea." He began. "I'm beginning to agree with you."

"Yeah, you aren't going to find a Jedi here, Luke." Lando told him. Luke grinned.

"R2, what are we doing here." Luke groaned. "It's like… something out of a dream, or… I don't know."

"I still think you hit your head a little bit too hard when you got attacked by that wampa." Han drawled.

Luke sighed. "Maybe I'm just going crazy." Just then, a stream of muddy water came pouring out of R2's head. The audience snorted, with the exception of Luke, who scowled.

"What, you only just realized you were going crazy?" Hobbie asked.

""Took you long enough." Wedge added.

Wes shook his head slowly. "Ah, how the truth hurts."

_Well, he couldn't have been more right about that, _Leia thought grimly.

Suddenly, the holo changed. Now it showed two huge Imperial ships. On one of them, an officer walked through a door, stopping in front of a large sphere – like object. Han frowned. "What's that?"

"I don't –" Luke began, before the sphere opened, revealing a glimpse of pale scarred flesh before Darth Vader's mask was placed over it. Leia felt herself give an involuntary gasp. Luke tensed visibly.

"Woah…" Wedge breathed. "I can see why he wore a mask all the time."

"Yeah, I wonder what happened to him?" Lando replied.

Mask now back in place, Vader turned towards the officer. "Our ships have sighted the _Millennium Falcon,_ Lord." Piett told him. Han, Leia and Chewie all winced visibly. "But… It has entered an asteroid field, and we cannot risk –"

"Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral. I want that ship!" Vader cut across him.

"Well, I'm sure they concern the people actually flying into them." Leia remarked.

"Wait, what exactly is up with that cave you guys are in?" Wedge asked as the holo switched scenes to show the _Falcon,_ now inside the space slug. "What kind of a cave has weird mist and a whole lot of moisture?"

"It's not a cave, you idiot." Chewie growled.

Lando looked startled. "Huh?"

Han glared at Chewie. "Like you knew that when we were in there!"

Leia glanced at the others. "You'll see."

Holo Han walked into the cockpit. "I'm going to shut down everything but the emergency power systems."

3PO looked around. "Sir, I'm almost afraid to ask, but, uh, does that mean shutting me down too?" The audience burst out laughing.

"No, I need you to talk to the _Falcon,_ figure out what's wrong with the hyperdrive." Han replied.

"Han, you actually said something civil to 3PO? You must be going soft." Leia smirked.

"And he admitted he needs his help with the ship. I think he's gone beyond soft." Luke grinned.

"Melting." Lando said dryly.

"Butter." Wes sighed. The others gave him weird looks.

Just then, the entire ship shook violently. "Sir, it's quite possible that this asteroid is not entirely stable."

"Really." Leia said with exaggerated sarcasm as the others laughed.

"Not entirely stable?" Holo Han's voice was also dripping with sarcasm. "I'm glad you're here to tell us these things. Chewie, take the professor into the back and plug him into the hyperdrive."

"Apple." Wes announced randomly.

Han gave him a strange look. "What?"

"Apple. It's hard. Unlike butter. Well, except when they're bruised, but then they taste disgusting."

Luke threw a pillow at him. "Wes, shut up. You're missing the holo!"

No sooner had Chewie and 3PO left, the ship shuddered again, throwing Han into his seat and Leia into his lap. The Rogues whistled. Leia winced, blushing. Han just grinned.

Holo Leia looked down at Han's arms around her waist. "Let go." Han quickly shushed her, trying to listen to something.

"Wow, Solo, you didn't try something?" Lando shook his head in disbelief.

"Of course not. I'm a nice man." Han replied.

Holo Leia leaned forwards slightly. "Let go. Please."

"You really don't look like you're trying that hard." Hobbie snickered.

Han gave her a look. "Don't get excited!"

"Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited."

The others were in hysterics again by this point. "Are you suggesting something there?" Wedge managed though his laughter. Leia rolled her eyes.

"Sorry, sweetheart." Han picked her up, setting her on her feet. "We haven't got time for anything else." With a lopsided, roguish grin, he left the cockpit.

"Yep, It's true love." Wes said happily.

"I walked right into that one, didn't I." Leia muttered.

Han grinned. "You were definitely thinking about it."

To Leia's relief, they were quickly back on Dagobah, where Luke was unloading supplies from his crashed x – wing. He sighed, standing next to R2. "Now all I've gotta do is find this Yoda. If he even exists." He sat down. "It's really a strange place to find a Jedi master."

"Isn't that what I've been saying this whole time?" Lando asked.

"This place gives me the creeps." Holo Luke continued. "Still… There's something familiar about this place."

"Doesn't exactly remind me of Tatooine, kid." Han commented. "Except for the strange life forms." Luke scowled.

"Hey! Didn't you say you were adopted?" Wedge asked suddenly. "Maybe you were born here and Yoda is your father!" Luke burst out laughing, while Wedge stared at him in confusion.

"I don't know." Holo Luke said. "I feel like –"

"Feel like what?" A strange voice asked from behind him. Luke spun around, pointing his blaster at him. The creature threw his hand in front of his face, making a startled wailing noise.

"What's that?" Leia asked.

"Like we're being watched." Holo Luke finished triumphantly.

"Away put your weapon! I mean you no harm!" The tiny green creature said.

"Uh, why is he talking like that?" Hobbie asked.

"It's just the way he is. You get used to it." Luke replied.

"I am wondering. Why are you here?" The green thing asked.

Luke lowered his weapon. "I'm looking for someone."

"Looking? Found someone, you have, I would say!"

"He's insane!" Han muttered.

"Help you, I can! Yes! Mm!"

The others were sniggering now. "He's not insane!" Luke protested.

"I don't think so." Holo Luke told him. "I'm looking for a great warrior."

"Oh! Great warrior! Wars not make one great!" the creature laughed.

"He's confusing me." Wes complained.

The creature walked over too Luke's food, picking up a piece of food. "Put that down." Luke ordered. "Hey! That's my dinner!" He pulled the food away from the creature, closing the box.

"All those Jedi skills, and you can't even stop a strange green thing from taking your food." Leia teased him.

"Listen, friend." Luke was now saying. "We didn't mean to land in that puddle, and if we could get our ship out, we would, but we can't, so why don't you just…"

"Aww, cannot get your ship out?" It teased.

"I think living by itself for so long made it crack." Han told Luke. A worried look crossed his face. "Wait – There aren't any more of them, are there?"

Luke shook his head. "No, just him."

"Hey, get out of there!" Luke yelled. The thing was now going through one of his crates of supplies, throwing things around. "You could have broken that!" The thing had now pulled out a tiny lamp and was examining it in delight. Luke tried to grab it from him.

"Mine." The green creature said firmly, jerking it away. "Or I will help you not."

Luke sighed in exasperation. "I don't need your help! I want my lamp back! I'm going to need it to get out of this slimy mudhole."

"And how, exactly, is that going to help you get out of there?" Leia asked.

Luke's mouth opened slightly. "Uh…"

"Mudhole? Slimy?" The creature repeated angrily, not noticing R2's small arm reaching out to grip the lamp. "My home, this is!"

"Yeah, I would be proud of it, too." Han said sarcastically.

He suddenly noticed what R2 was doing and turned, making very weird noises as he fought for control of the lamp.

"R2, let him have it." Luke grumbled. The droid refused to let go, and the creature began to bang on him with his stick.

"R2!" Luke said commandingly.

"Stay and help you, I will." The creature decided. "Find your friend."

"Oh no." Han moaned.

"I'm not looking for a friend." Luke said exasperatedly. "I'm looking for a Jedi master."

"Oh! Jedi master! Yoda! You seek Yoda!"

Luke bent down. "You know him?"

"Take you to him, I will! But now, we must eat. Yes! Yes! Good food!"

"How food can be good when it's from a swamp…" Lando looked nervous.

"Come!" The green thing commanded, waddling off into the swamp.

"R2, stay and watch after the camp." Luke said firmly, heading off after it.


	6. I'm Nice Men

**Wow, its been so long since I've updated this! I am truly sorry, guys. Hopefully, by next week I will be able to start posting a lot more regularly.**

**Thanks HEAPS for the reviews! It means a lot to me. Please keep on leaving reviews!**

**VioletStarrider - You're welcome! Thanks for the review!**

**Anonymous Review Fairy - Yeah, Yoda's going to be fun to write. Haha, I completely forgot that R2 knew him. Thanks for the review!**

**The Reviewer Below - Hope you are feeling better :) Thank you so much! Sorry It took so long. Anyway, here's the Han/Leia scene...**

**And without further conversation...**

* * *

><p>Back on the <em>Falcon, <em>3PO stood next to the control panel, which was beeping. "Oh, where is R2 when I need him?" The droid muttered. "Sir, I don't know where you're ship learned to communicate, but it has the most peculiar dialect."

"Why am I not surprised?" Leia asked dryly. Han scowled.

"I believe, sir," 3PO continued, "That it says that the power coupling on the negative axis has been polarised. I'm afraid you'll have to replace it."

Han looked worried, quickly coming over to 3PO. "Well, of course I'll have to replace it." He replied angrily, walking over to a trap door in the ceiling. "Here." He said, holding up a wire coil as Chewie poked his head down. "And Chewie…" He lowered his voice. "I think you'd better replace the negative power coupling." Real Han glared as the others burst out laughing.

"You just can't admit that a droid knows more than you do, can you?" Luke sniggered.

"I had a lot on my mind, ok?" Han snapped back. Leia winced as suddenly, the scene changed to her welding some valves.

She winced. "Did you just say you had a lot on you're mind?"

Han gulped slightly. "Uh… Is it really necessary to watch this?"

Luke grinned. "Yes, it is." Both Han and Leia groaned.

Holo Leia was now struggling with a lever. Han walked in behind her, watching her struggle. "Um, has anyone else noticed that the music has gotten really romantic?" Wedge asked.

Han chose that moment to put his arms around Leia from behind, grabbing the lever. Leia quickly shoved him off into the wall.

Lando laughed. "Looks like you need to brush up on your skills, buddy." The others sniggered, with the exception of Leia.

"Hey, your worship!" Han protested. "I'm only trying to help!"

"Uh – huh." Real Leia said sarcastically.

"Would you please stop calling me that?" Leia asked.

"Sure, Leia." Han replied.

"Three years of nicknames, and it was that easy to get you to stop?" Leia asked.

Holo Leia gave up on her struggle with the lever. "You make it so difficult sometimes."

"I do, I really do."

The others were chuckling by this point. Luke was slightly pink. "You could be a little nicer though." Han continued.

"I see what you meant by, 'A lot on your mind'." Hobbie smirked at them. Leia was going slightly pink.

"Come on, admit it." Han wasn't finished yet. "Sometimes you think I'm all right."

"I think she thinks you're a bit more than –" Wedge broke off as Leia gave him an icy glare.

"Occasionally… Maybe." Leia replied. Real Leia winced. The rogues tittered. "When you aren't acting like a scoundrel."

At that, the entire room burst out laughing. "Did… Did you just say scoundrel?" Wes asked incredulously.

"She just said scoundrel." Wedge confirmed.

Leia, who was beet red, buried her head in her hands.

"Scoundrel." Holo Han was smirking. "Scoundrel. I like the sound of that."

"I'll bet you do." Hobbie sniggered, receiving a glare from Han and a moan from Leia. Luke had also gone a very interesting shade of dark pink.

"Just kiss her already!" Lando yelled.

Chewie shook with laughter. "He's got a bit further to go yet."

Leia's mouth dropped open. "You were _watching?_"

Luke waved his arms frantically. "Shut up! He's still talking!"

Holo Han wasn't done yet. He was very close to her now, taking her hand in his and starting to massage it. The rogues wolf whistled. Leia whimpered. "Stop that." She told him.

"I how you keep telling him to let go of you, and never do anything about it." Wedge laughed. Leia threw a pillow at him.

"Stop what?" Han asked innocently.

Real Leia glared at him. "Nerfherder." She muttered under her breath.

"Stop that!" Leia replied. "My hands are dirty."

There was a split second where everyone in the room stared at her incredulously, before bursting out laughing. "That has got to be one of the worst excuses ever." Han gasped.

"Leia, you really aren't doing so well with this conversation." Luke told her, wiping his eyes.

"My hands are dirty, too." Holo Han replied. "What are you afraid of?"

"Afraid?" The two were now incredibly close.

"Gods, Leia, do you have to argue about everything?" Real Han asked.

"Apparently." She replied dryly.

"You're trembling." Holo Han told her.

"I'm not trembling." This drew another laugh from the others.

"Someone's in denial!" Hobbie snorted.

Wes sighed happily. "Ahh, young love."

"I think you like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life."

The others were now having silent hysterics while they tried not to drown out what Han and Leia were saying. "Getting hot in here." Wes grinned. Leia was surprised to see that he and the others were actually slightly pink too.

"I happen to like nice men." Leia showed absolutely no sign of drawing away.

"What, like Lukie?" Wedge asked. Luke and Leia both went bright red.

"Yeah, you do seem to be moving quite fast right now, Leia." Lando remarked, his eyes glued to the holo."

"I'm nice men."

"No you're not, you're a…" Leia never got to finish her sentence as Han finally kissed her.

The entire room began to cheer. Leia was bright red, and Han was smirking in a slightly embarrassed way. Luke too was very pink.

"Sir, Sir! I've isolated the reverse power coupling!"

There was a slightly awkward pause, before the entire room collapsed into laughter.

"I hate that droid." Han muttered. "Whoever programmed him must have been an uptight, annoying old guy."

"Yeah, he has got to have the worst timing ever." Lando sniggered.

"No!" Wes screamed at the holo. "You ruined the romantic moment! Han should spot – weld him to the hull!" Chewie roared agreement.

Luke waved his arms as they quietened down slightly. "No, I'm not letting you spot – weld him to the hull."

Holo Han turned to 3PO, a look of barely controlled anger on his face. "Thank you. Thank you very much." Meanwhile, Leia had turned and slipped away through another door. Han, turning, saw that she had left and sighed, looking disappointed. Leia felt slightly guilty.

"Ooh, Han." Luke shook his head slowly. "Ouch."

Han, however, didn't appear to be listening. Leia felt his hand against the back of her neck. "How about we finish that right now." He murmured, and before she had a chance to protest, kissed her.

Leia heard someone – probably Wes – cheer at them. Han finally broke the kiss, grinned at her, and turned back to face the holo. She rolled her eyes. "Nerfherder."

The holo scene changed – they were now on one of the imperial ships, where one of the officers was giving a report to Vader by holo. "Considering the amount of damage we've sustained, they must have been destroyed." He finished.

"Yeah, like the _Falcon_ would be that easy to get rid of." Han snarled.

"No, captain, they're alive." Vader sounded slightly annoyed. I want every ship available to sweep the asteroid field until they are found." No sooner had he disconnected the holo call, another officer walked up to him.

"The emperor commands you to make contact with him." He told Vader slightly breathlessly.

"Move the ship out of the asteroid field so that we can send a clear transmission." Vader ordered.

"Well, this should be interesting." Leia commented.

Vader walked into the room containing the pod that Vader had been in earlier. He knelt on a raised platform in the centre of the room, as a holo of Palpatine flickered to life. Leia shuddered. "What is thy bidding, my master?" Vader asked.

"Wow, he's ugly." Wes said. "And who the hell says 'thy' anymore?"

"He does, obviously." Wedge replied.

"There is a great disturbance in the Force." Palpaine said.

"Oh. Fantastic." Han said sarcastically. "More Force stuff."

"I have felt it." Vader replied.

"We have a new enemy." Palpatine continued. "The young rebel who destroyed the Death Star. I have no doubt this boy is the offspring of Anakin Skywalker."

Leia and Luke both winced.

"Is that why he wanted to capture you so much?" Lando asked Luke.

Luke sucked in a breath before answering. "Partly."

"How is that possible?" Vader sounded no different from usual, but Leia and Luke both exchanged nervous glances. _So he didn't know, Leia_ thought.

"What does he mean, it isn't possible?" Wedge looked confused.

"Search your feelings, Lord Vader. You will know it to be true. He could destroy us."

"Why do all you Force users always go on about searching your feelings?" Han grumbled.

"He's just a boy." Vader argued. Leia saw Luke gulp slightly. "Obi – Wan can no longer help him."

"The Force is strong with him." Palpatine told him. "The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi."

"If he could be turned, he would become a powerful ally."

"But… I thought he wanted to kill you." Hobbie asked. "So why does it look like he's trying to save your life?"

Luke was fortunately saved from answering by Palpatine. "Yes… Yes… He would be a great asset. Can it be done?"

"He will join us or die." Vader hissed. "Master." He knelt, touching his forehead to the ground.

"And on that cheerful note…" Wes commented as the scene changed to a very familiar swamp. R2 stood outside a small hut in the pouring rain, peering in through one of the tiny windows. Inside, Luke was arguing with the small green creature. To Leia's amusement, he was forced to bend double to fit into the tiny creature's hut.

"Look, I'm sure it's delicious. I just don't understand why we can't go see Yoda now!" Luke complained.

"Patience! For the Jedi it is time to eat as well!"

"Oh, no." Han moaned. "Not this guy again."

Luke chuckled. "Sorry. He stays around for a bit longer."

"Well, I like him." Wes declared. "He appreciates food."

The audience sniggered as they watched Luke crawl awkwardly over to a small cooking fire in the corner, where he ladled a small amount of food into a bowl. Leia laughed outright at the face he made as he tasted it. Luke had begun to go pink. Again.

"How far away is Yoda? Will it take us long to get there?" Luke asked. Real Luke rolled his eyes. "Wow, I'm being such an idiot."

"Not far, hmm." The green thing said. "Patience. Soon, you will be with him." He moved over to Luke. "Why must you become Jedi?"

Luke shrugged. "Well, mostly because of my father, I guess."

Leia glanced at him. "You were more right about that then you thought, huh." She muttered.

"Ahh, father. Powerful Jedi was he." The green thing said.

"Wait, what? How does he know your father?" Han asked in confusion, just as Holo Luke asked the same thing.

"Oh, come on. How did you know my father – you don't even know who I am!" He whined. "Oh, I don't even know what I'm doing here! We're wasting our time!"

The creature sighed. "I cannot teach him. The boy has no patience."

A look of horror crossed Han's face. "Please don't tell me…"

"He will learn patience!" Came another voice.

"Obi – Wan!" Real Luke whispered loudly.

The green creature – Yoda, Leia now realised – turned to Luke. "Much anger in him. Like his father."

"Was I any different when you taught me?" Obi – Wan asked.

Lando shook his head. "These conversations with dead people are really freaking me out."

A look of comprehension dawned on Luke's face. "Yoda." He breathed.

"It really took you that long?" Leia asked, slightly bemused.

"I – I am ready!" Luke said forcefully. He looked up at the ceiling. "Ben! I can be a Jedi! Ben, tell him I'm –" He broke off as he slammed his head against the low ceiling. The others snickered.

"Yes, very ready." Chewie growled.

"Hang on a minute. You want to stay with that nutter and train?" Han shook his head. "You're crazier than I thought." The rogues nodded their agreement.

Luke glared at them. "He's not crazy!"

"For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi." Yoda began, "My own counsel I will keep on who is to be trained. A Jedi must have the most deepest commitment, the most serious mind." He turned to Obi – Wan. "This one, a long time have I watched. All his life he has looked away, to the future, to the horizon, never his mind on where he was! Hmm! What he was doing! Adventure. Heh! Excitement. Heh! A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless!"

Leia raised her eyebrows. "Ouch."

Obi - Wan began to argue with him. "He is to old!" Yoda yelled. "Yes! Too old to begin the training!"

"Why is it that no one can come up with any good arguments anymore?" Han asked.

"But I've learned so much!" Holo Luke burst out.

Yoda sighed, looking up at Obi – Wan. "Will he finish what he begins?"

"I won't fail you." Luke promised. "I'm not afraid."

"Ahh." Yoda leaned closer. "You will be." He nodded. "You will be."

"What exactly have you gotten yourself into?" Wedge asked apprehensively.

Luke shook his head. "Not exactly what I expected."

Back in the asteroid field, the imperials fired randomly on asteroids. Inside the cockpit of the _Falcon,_ Leia sat curled in Chewie's chair. She leaned forwards as something flashed into sight. Suddenly, it landed on the window, attaching to the pane by some weird sucker on its belly. Leia let out a small shriek and jumped up, running out of the cockpit.

"What the hell was that!" Lando asked.

"A mynock." Han answered.

In another part of the _Falcon, _3PO stood at his control panel. "Sir, if I may venture an opinion –"

"I'm not really interested in your opinions right now." Han snapped at him.

"Well, someone's a little annoyed about being interrupted earlier." Hobbie laughed.

"Poor droid." Luke commented, also laughing.

Just then, Leia ran in. "There's something out there." She told Han. "Outside, in the cave." Just then, they heard a banging noise on the roof.

Han jumped up, running towards the ramp. "I'm going out there."

"Are you crazy?" Holo Leia and several audience members asked.

"I just got this bucket back together, I'm not gonna let someone take it apart!" He yelled as he grabbed a breath mask, Chewie following.

"No one touches my ship!" Real Han added for emphasis.

Leia huffed. "Then I'm going with you!"

3PO was left standing in the middle of the room. "I think it might be better if I stay behind and guard the ship." He said to no one.

"You do that, goldenrod. You do that." Real Han told him.

Outside the cave was foggy and moist. Luke frowned. "That doesn't look like a real cave." He said.

"You'll see." Leia told him grimly.

After wandering around the cave for a few minutes, a slight movement startled Han, who quickly turned, firing at something, which flopped off the ship and onto the ground. "Yeah, what I thought. Mynock." He said, staring at it. "Chewie, check the rest of the ship. Make sure there's no more attached, chewin' on the power cables."

Just then, a whole flock of them swooped down on the group, who began to run for the ramp. Han fired off a shot, which went wide, hitting the side of the cave, which shook violently.

"What is up with the cave?" Hobbie asked. "Is it having an earthquake or something?"

Holo Han paused, looking around. "Wait a minute…" He fired a shot straight at the cave floor, which began to shake again, nearly throwing them all onto the ground. They charged inside, Han charging straight for the cockpit. "Come on Chewie, let's get out of here!"

"The empire are still out there! I don't think it's wise –" Leia began. Han cut her off.

"No time to discuss this in committee!" Leia growled.

"I am not a committee!" The audience laughed. Leia gave Luke an icy glare. He gulped and shut up.

Leia had followed the others into the cockpit. "You can't make the jump to lightspeed in this asteroid field!"

"Sit down, sweetheart. We're taking off!" Han yelled back.

"I still don't get it." Lando said.

The _Falcon _took off, speeding towards the cave exit, where what looked like two cave walls were drawing closer together.

"The cave is collapsing!" She heard her holo self exclaim.

"That's no cave!" Han replied.

"Hang on, those are teeth!" Luke yelled as the ship zoomed out into the asteroid field. Behind them, a huge space slug reared up, snapping at the ship before finally sliding back into its hole.

"Once again, I save the day." Han said smugly as the others watched, momentarily speechless.


	7. I want them alive No Disintigrations!

**Oh. My God. I actually wrote something. *Hides from crowd of people attempting to kill her for taking so long.***

**Special thanks to darklordofsith for pushing me to finish this update - You are awesome!**

**I promise never to take this long with an update again.**

* * *

><p>They were back in the swamp again. Han moaned. "Seriously, we have to put up with this crazy green guy again? How long is this going to go on for?"<p>

Luke glared at him, not bothering to answer. Just then, holo Luke climbed up a vine into the screen, Yoda attached to his back. "Hey, look! It's me!" He shouted, rather unnneccesarily.

"Uh… What are you doing, Luke?" Wedge asked. "Isn't this supposed to be Jedi training?"

_Is he going to make it more than five minutes through this thing without blushing? _Leia mused as, indeed, Luke's cheeks were turning pink. "It is training!" He huffed. "A Jedi has to be extremely fit."

Lando chuckled. "So you spent the entire time doing gymnastics in a swamp with a crazy green dude attached to your back?"

"Yes! Run!" Yoda barked, as if on cue. "A Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware of the Dark Side – anger, fear, aggression, Dark Side of the Force are they!" Leia shuddered, listening to the odd Jedi's words. Although she agreed with the others that he was more than slightly crazy, she knew what those emotions had meant for her father.

"For once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will! As it did Obi – Wan's apprentice." He finished dramatically. Leia saw Luke wince slightly.

"Bit melodramatic, isn't he?" Hobbie said dryly. The others sniggered.

"Vader." Holo Luke said grimly. "Is the dark side stronger?"

"No, no." Yoda replied. "But it is the more seductive."

"But how am I to know the good side from the bad?" Luke replied.

"Finally, we are about to learn a very important piece of Jedi wisdom!" Wes said dramatically.

"You will know!" Yoda told him. "When, you are calm, when you are at peace!"

"Or not." Wes muttered.

"A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defence," continued Yoda, "Never for attack."

"But tell me why I can't –" Luke began, before being cut off.

"No, no, there is no why!" He sighed dramatically. "Nothing more will I teach you today. Clear your mind of questions."

"Does he ever do anything other than spout random stuff about Jedi?" Han asked.

"And that nodding and 'hmm' – ing thing he does!" Wes added. "Does he ever stop doing that?"

A few moments passed, before holo Luke suddenly spoke. "There's something not right here."

"We noticed." Wes sniggered.

"Like your face?" Hobbie asked simultaneously. Luke just glared at them.

"I feel cold." Holo Luke continued. The others sniggered.

"It's called the weather, kid." Han told him.

Yoda pointed off into the swamp with a stick. "That place is strong with the Dark side of the Force. A domain of evil it is. And you must go."

Leia rolled her eyes. "Seriously, what kind of training is this? He's telling you to go into a place that is strong in the Dark side."

"I have a bad feeling about this." Chewie growled.

"What's in there?" Luke asked.

"Only what you take with you." Yoda replied.

"So, what? Your pants are going to start attacking you if you wear them in there?" Lando asked.

"Shut up, Lando." Luke snapped. Leia didn't need the Force to tell her that Luke didn't like what was about to happen.

Holo Luke began to walk into the swamp, but Yoda stopped him. "Your weapons, you will not need."

Han frowned. "What the… How is that going to help?" Holo Luke buckled on his lightsabre anyway and carried on. "Good one, kid." Han told him.

After a few moments, Luke was seen crawling through a hole into a dark, cobwebby cave. Leia shivered. They could hear several strange noises as Luke climbed down further in, dropping lightly onto the floor. He walked forward slowly, when he paused suddenly. There seemed to be something right ahead of him. She sucked in a breath as Darth Vader suddenly appeared, walking slowly towards Luke.

The room erupted into sound. "What the hell –" Han asked.

"Why was he there?"

"I can't believe the green dude told you not to bring a weapon!"

Leia looked over at Luke. "He did tell you about… the thing… on Bespin, right?"

Luke winced. "Yeah he did."

"But then why…" Leia trailed off, confused.

Luke winced as the others stared at him expectantly. "Uh… You'll see in a moment. It's kind of complicated."

Both holo – figures had drawn their light sabres by this point, and were holding them on a ready position. Vader quickly took a swing at Luke, who blocked it. After a few moments, he managed to separate his head from his body, which crumbled to the ground.

"Wait… That was way to easy!" Han looked annoyed. "What's the catch?"

"Yeah, how does that work?" Wes asked. "He was definitely alive in Endor."

"It wasn't the real Vader." Luke explained.

Leia caught on instantly. "It was something the cave made to… test you or something."

Luke nodded. "Unfortunately, that wasn't the worst part." He pointed at the holo, where he watched as the face of the mask exploded, revealing…

"You?" Lando asked. The rest of the room was momentarily stunned into silence. Leia reached over and put her hand on Luke's shoulder. The group was silent for a moment. Before anyone could react much more, however, the swamp disappeared and a star destroyer, surrounded by several TIE fighters, came into view.

On the bridge, several officers were looking intently at a screen. Another officer came up behind them, looking over to where Vader stood with a group of aliens. "Bounty hunters," He said in disgust. "We don't need their scum."

Han moaned. "You have got to be kriffing kidding me… how many of them are there?"

The same officer walked away, only to find a large reptilian bounty hunter standing above him, growling. There were several snorts of laughter as he turned away in discomfort.

"Ah, young love." Wes announced. The others looked at him crazily before bursting into laughter again.

Fortunately for the admiral, another imperial came up to him. Sir, we have a priority signal from the Star Destroyer Avenger." The admiral took the chance to exit the bridge quickly.

Vader was still talking to the bounty hunters. "There will be a substantial reward to the one who finds the Millennium Falcon. You are free to use any methods necessary, but I want them alive." He walked up to Boba Fett, pointing a finger in his face. "No disintigrations."

The audience burst out laughing. "Wow, that was nice of him." Leia remarked.

"Is it just me or does Vader sound like he's scolding a whole bunch of kids who have just been caught stealing sweets?" Lando asked.

Just then, the admiral walked up to Vader. "My lord, he said. "We have them."

"Damn." Luke said sadly. "Just as we were getting started with the bounty hunters." Leia, Han and Chewie winced as they saw the huge ship firing at the _Falcon,_ which looked tiny in comparison.

"How did we ever get to Bespin?" Leia asked.

"Good question." Chewie put in.

Han looked affronted. "You doubt my abilities?"

The four sat in the cockpit of the _Falcon._ 3PO waved his arms around. "Oh, I am so glad we are coming out of the asteroid field."

"Yeah, just in time to get slaughtered." Real Han muttered.

The others ignored the droid. "Lets get out of here. Ready for lightspeed?" Han asked. Chewie growled something in return. "One… Two… Three!"

Nothing happened. There was an awkward pause in both the ship and the audience.

Luke blinked. "What the…"

The others burst out laughing, while Real Han looked furious. "You have got to be kidding me." Lando gasped. Leia rolled her eyes.

"That's not fair!" Holo Hn muttered, promoting more laughter.

"Seriously Han? That's what you say when you are being chased by imperials and your ship is broken?" Lando asked incredulously. Holo Chewie and Real Chewie both put their arms around their heads and moaned.

Just then, a blast hit the ship. "It's not my fault!" Han yelled.

"We should just make this a drinking game - every time he says something like that, everyone takes a drink." Wes exclaimed excitedly.

"No lightspeed?" Holo Leia asked.

"It's not my fault!"

"We would be wasted by this point." Wedge grinned.

"Sir, we just lost the main rear deflector shield!" 3PO announced. "One more direct hit on the back and we're done for!"

"Well, this is just shaping up to be one of the best days of my life." Real Leia muttered. Luke laughed.

Han suddenly jumped up. "Turn her around! I said turn her around, I'm gonna get all power to the main shield!"

"What the..." Luke trailed off. "And you say Yoda is nuts!"

"Don't you dare compare me to that green thing, kid!"

"You're gonna attack them?" Holo Leia shrieked.

"Sir, the odds of surviving a direct assault on an Imperial Star Destroyer -" 3PO began.

"Shut up!" Leia yelled at him. Real Han grinned at her.

"You've been spending to much time with him." Chewie growled.

The Falcon started to turn around. "Seriously, what the hell are you doing?" Luke asked blankly.

Two officers stood on the bridge of the Star Destroyer. "They're moving into attack position." One of them said incredulously.

"Believe me, we're just as confused as you are." Leis muttered.

The officers on the bridge ducked as the smaller ship came shooting up over them. "Track them!" The officer snapped.

"Captain Needa," Another officer said. "The ship no longer appears on our scopes!"

Han grinned. "See? I knew what I was doing!"

Captain Needa looked confused. "Captain, Lord Vader demands an update on our pursuit!"

"This was not his day." Hobbie grinned.

"Get a shuttle ready. I will assume full responsibility for loosing them, and apologize to Lord Vader."

"Well, that's gonna go well." Luke remarked.

"Meanwhile, continue to scan the area."

Wes gave Han a look. "Ok, what did you do?"

Han just smirked at him. "See, I'm full of surprises, Janson."


End file.
